so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
