Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
