Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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