In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
