if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
