Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
