I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sorry about my life...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize