I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
