absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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