I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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