Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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