So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
