I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
