The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They have beer where we have blood.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
