I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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