Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize