Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
COCAINE IS GR8
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
