I think my vagina is haunted
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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