I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
