I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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