i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
