I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
