i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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