but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
