how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
