Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize