is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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