your room smells of hookers.
And success
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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