hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Randomize