I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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