I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
