How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
