In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
