i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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