I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
