i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.