she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.