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its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
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