Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're a womanizer and a bitch.

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(248): You're a womanizer and a bitch. http://tfl.nu/wf0c

Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (1052)
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(801): View more from Utah

Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...

(435): View more from Utah

A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?

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(801): Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah... (435): A message to Mrs Obama perhaps? http://tfl.nu/yprl

Replies (8) Good night (1166) Bad night (562)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

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(201): Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice. http://tfl.nu/k20h

Replies (76) Good night (766) Bad night (7387)
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(512): View more from Texas

we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us

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(512): we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us http://tfl.nu/0aiz

Replies (2) Good night (2914) Bad night (524)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

(309): View more from Illinois

"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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(309): I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head. (309): "I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night. http://tfl.nu/9065

Replies (62) Good night (9072) Bad night (881)
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(305): View more from Florida

I don't even know why I got my vag waxed

(786): View more from Florida

Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.

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(305): I don't even know why I got my vag waxed (786): Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed. http://tfl.nu/dtgr

Replies (25) Good night (808) Bad night (5125)
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(512): View more from Texas

honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party

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(512): honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party http://tfl.nu/io10

Replies (6) Good night (2207) Bad night (586)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

we already have meals planned for the weekend.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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(864): we already have meals planned for the weekend. (1-864): SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL. http://tfl.nu/xo3s

Replies (13) Good night (5041) Bad night (1032)
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(816): View more from Missouri

She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum

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(816): She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum http://tfl.nu/72bu

Replies (11) Good night (2569) Bad night (1041)
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(516): View more from New York

Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.

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(516): Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uizc

Replies (16) Good night (2903) Bad night (520)
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(518): View more from New York

If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

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(518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl

Replies (8) Good night (856) Bad night (415)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.

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(920): He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level. http://tfl.nu/rkz6

Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (225)
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(315): View more from New York

My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?

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(315): My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero? http://tfl.nu/se5g

Replies (5) Good night (1482) Bad night (360)
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(815): View more from Illinois

HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.

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(815): HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK. http://tfl.nu/waoa

Replies (1) Good night (182) Bad night (413)
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(801): View more from Utah

Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.

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(801): Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight. http://tfl.nu/r4nr

Replies (5) Good night (211) Bad night (580)

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