Texts From Last Night

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  (386): View more from Florida

  you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.

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  (386): you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/n48i
  Replies (18) Good night (929) Bad night (4261)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

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  (580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8
  Replies (57) Good night (2301) Bad night (4454)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...

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  (416): he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun... http://tfl.nu/vbhp
  Replies (10) Good night (5446) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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  (858): Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch http://tfl.nu/zban
  Replies (28) Good night (8746) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....

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  (347): Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night..... http://tfl.nu/buh9
  Replies (14) Good night (1747) Bad night (4743)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs

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  (618): You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs http://tfl.nu/0h2n
  Replies (6) Good night (3430) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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  (201): On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in http://tfl.nu/9hap
  Replies (8) Good night (3762) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

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  (781): You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/rd8s
  Replies (4) Good night (2460) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.

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  (262): Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head. http://tfl.nu/w9hs
  Replies (19) Good night (2730) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

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  (520): She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers. http://tfl.nu/zf1p
  Replies (12) Good night (1959) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."

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  (408): You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom." http://tfl.nu/ayfd
  Replies (2) Good night (1358) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day

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  (610): just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day http://tfl.nu/mfoa
  Replies (3) Good night (323) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Be safe. And I hate you.

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  (404): Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND! (1-404): Be safe. And I hate you. http://tfl.nu/32xo
  Replies (3) Good night (1156) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.

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  (662): He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime. http://tfl.nu/s8up
  Replies (3) Good night (217) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  (775): You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule (1-775): Thats your rule and this car is nice http://tfl.nu/6eo6
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (309)

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