I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
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There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.