Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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