if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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