i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
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Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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