oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
