The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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