The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
