he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
