I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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