The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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