Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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