take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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