dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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