just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
