i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
