I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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