all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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