after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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