question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
