Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
