think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
