Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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