Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize