im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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