You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
