Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
