He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize