dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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