i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
