Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
