It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
